Category: Writing
-
How to Survive the TikTok Ban
The impending ban of TikTok getting you down? Worried about how to broadcast all of your content to your devoted followers? Worried about losing money? Worry no more. The ban of TikTok only means it is time to get even more creative to satiate your followers lust for daily mediocre videos that are branded as…
-
Mahoney’s Microfiber Towels Memo: RE Anti-Semitism
DATE: November 20, 2022 TO: All Staff FROM: Titus Mahoney III, CEO SUBJECT: Anti-Semitism The recent anti-Semitic comments and views promoted by Kanye West and Kyrie Irving are troubling. In harrowing times it is important to stand for humanity and support those under attack. It is also important to let our consumers know where we…
-
Oh No Conversations: A Person Who Needs a Favor
Oh no…this person only ever comes around when he needs a favor. Our friendship is built solely on transactions. Cashless transactions. First, he will start with small talk. A few how’s the family, how’s the job. As I respond, he won’t actually listen. Only a few head nods and a that’s great. His body language…
-
Oh No Conversations: Edibles
Oh no…I just started a conversation with a man who just recently ate edibles. This conversation never changes. The beats are as consistent as the sun rising each day. Yup, he just brought it up unannounced. I asked about his sick mother. Instead, he is convinced I need to hear about his latest edible adventure.…
-
Lettuce: The Ultimate Superfood
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and diet can be difficult to accomplish. Every day there is new information and new trends appearing online promising an easy path to your dream body. If you still haven’t found a suitable diet for your lifestyle, search no more. The answer and power lie in a superfood vegetable you’ve known…
-
“Bones” is Ruining my Relationship
My girlfriend, Abigail, is very dear to me. We have been dating for almost seven years and our relationship grows stronger each passing day. Not even two years spent in a long distance relationship could inflict any damage to our love for one another. However, the popular streaming service Netflix yields a more deadly blow than being…
-
Happy President’s Day?
Happy President’s Day! Or something like that. Before today, nobody truly cared about President’s Day. The holiday was simply an excuse for a three-day weekend. Trump’s presidency has ignited protests every week since he’s been in office. Trump and his administration are so controversial that people took the time to organize “Not My President’s Day”…
-
Buffalo Bill’s Valentine’s Day Advice
Hi. Hello. My name is Jack Gordon. Others like to call me Buffalo Bill, but to be honest, I’m not too fond of the nickname. I don’t like westerns. The women in those movies had no taste, always dressing in dark colors. Not to mention that they were rail thin. So, anyway, please call me Jack. Valentine’s…