Tag: Fiction
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“Bones” is Ruining my Relationship
My girlfriend, Abigail, is very dear to me. We have been dating for almost seven years and our relationship grows stronger each passing day. Not even two years spent in a long distance relationship could inflict any damage to our love for one another. However, the popular streaming service Netflix yields a more deadly blow than being…
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Buffalo Bill’s Valentine’s Day Advice
Hi. Hello. My name is Jack Gordon. Others like to call me Buffalo Bill, but to be honest, I’m not too fond of the nickname. I don’t like westerns. The women in those movies had no taste, always dressing in dark colors. Not to mention that they were rail thin. So, anyway, please call me Jack. Valentine’s…
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Super Bowl LI: Bad for My Health
Last night’s Super Bowl made me so sick, that after the game I stuck my head into the oven. No, I’m not an Atlanta Falcons fan. Nor did I want to commit suicide. At least not yet. Instead, I wanted to complete my gluttonous night by snacking on post-game triple chocolate fudge brownies. Which after…
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How My Relationship Fell Apart
Relationships are too often finite. The early seeds of an intimate relationship can blossom into the most beautiful and mesmerizing bouquet of flowers, only to wither away, succumbing to destructive forces, both concrete and abstract. The small possibility for the flowers to persevere and overcome these toxic monstrosities is what makes the desire to fall in love an…
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I’ve Quit Sports and So Can You!
Yesterday’s game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers broke my heart and tore me down as a human being. After the game I had only one thought on my mind. Aaron Rodgers is a dickhead. If you are a Dallas Cowboys fan like me, your Sunday night was haunted by the image…
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Only a Week into 2017 and My New Year’s Resolutions Are Already Ruined. Now What?
Welcome! If after one week of 2017, you still feel like a pile of garbage personified, then you have come to the right place! You are most likely back to overindulging in the things you love, which unfortunately are things society shuns with the most upturned of noses. Those nasty habits of non-stop drinking, smoking,…