Tag: satire
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Mahoney’s Microfiber Towels Memo: RE Anti-Semitism
DATE: November 20, 2022 TO: All Staff FROM: Titus Mahoney III, CEO SUBJECT: Anti-Semitism The recent anti-Semitic comments and views promoted by Kanye West and Kyrie Irving are troubling. In harrowing times it is important to stand for humanity and support those under attack. It is also important to let our consumers know where we…
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Lettuce: The Ultimate Superfood
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and diet can be difficult to accomplish. Every day there is new information and new trends appearing online promising an easy path to your dream body. If you still haven’t found a suitable diet for your lifestyle, search no more. The answer and power lie in a superfood vegetable you’ve known…
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Inauguration Week Deals: Online Sales to Kick Off the Trump Presidency
With the inauguration only a day away, there are hundreds of fantastic deals across the web. But don’t worry about scouring the internet for the best savings, I’ve done all of the dirty work for you. But act fast! The end of days are upon us! Harry’s Toupees Looking for an ineffective and terrible way to…
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I’ve Quit Sports and So Can You!
Yesterday’s game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers broke my heart and tore me down as a human being. After the game I had only one thought on my mind. Aaron Rodgers is a dickhead. If you are a Dallas Cowboys fan like me, your Sunday night was haunted by the image…
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Only a Week into 2017 and My New Year’s Resolutions Are Already Ruined. Now What?
Welcome! If after one week of 2017, you still feel like a pile of garbage personified, then you have come to the right place! You are most likely back to overindulging in the things you love, which unfortunately are things society shuns with the most upturned of noses. Those nasty habits of non-stop drinking, smoking,…