Category: Writing
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Super Bowl LI: Bad for My Health
Last night’s Super Bowl made me so sick, that after the game I stuck my head into the oven. No, I’m not an Atlanta Falcons fan. Nor did I want to commit suicide. At least not yet. Instead, I wanted to complete my gluttonous night by snacking on post-game triple chocolate fudge brownies. Which after…
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How My Relationship Fell Apart
Relationships are too often finite. The early seeds of an intimate relationship can blossom into the most beautiful and mesmerizing bouquet of flowers, only to wither away, succumbing to destructive forces, both concrete and abstract. The small possibility for the flowers to persevere and overcome these toxic monstrosities is what makes the desire to fall in love an…
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Spice Up Your Email Signature with these Quotes
Professional emails are vital to maintaining a healthy and favorable work relationship among colleagues and peers. Most people get hung up on how to start an email, but the most crucial element of an email is the signature quote. The signature quote is critical because it’s the last phrase read, serving as both an extension of one’s personality…
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Inauguration Week Deals: Online Sales to Kick Off the Trump Presidency
With the inauguration only a day away, there are hundreds of fantastic deals across the web. But don’t worry about scouring the internet for the best savings, I’ve done all of the dirty work for you. But act fast! The end of days are upon us! Harry’s Toupees Looking for an ineffective and terrible way to…
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I’ve Quit Sports and So Can You!
Yesterday’s game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers broke my heart and tore me down as a human being. After the game I had only one thought on my mind. Aaron Rodgers is a dickhead. If you are a Dallas Cowboys fan like me, your Sunday night was haunted by the image…
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Only a Week into 2017 and My New Year’s Resolutions Are Already Ruined. Now What?
Welcome! If after one week of 2017, you still feel like a pile of garbage personified, then you have come to the right place! You are most likely back to overindulging in the things you love, which unfortunately are things society shuns with the most upturned of noses. Those nasty habits of non-stop drinking, smoking,…
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Quick Hits: Ernie Torres & Clint Walker
A few months back I interviewed Ernie Torres and Clint Walker for an article about growing up skateboarding in Oklahoma. The article was originally intended for Jenkem, but things did not end up working out. Here are the interviews in their full glory. Enjoy. Ernie Torres: What were your experiences like growing up and skateboarding…
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Growing Up Skateboarding in Oklahoma
Like most flyover states, Oklahoma is seldom penciled into people’s travel itineraries, and, with exception of an occasional tragedy or weather event, rarely receives national attention.
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Dark Side Skates Was Not Your Average Skate Shop
“What’s a blumpkin?” “It’s when a guy takes a shit and a girl gives him a blowjob at the same time.” “That is so disgusting.” “Yeah, well…do you wanna do it or what?” Believe it or not, this is not a piece of bad dialogue from a bathroom themed porno. But instead is an actual…
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Could He Skate? Kobe Bryant Edition
Kobe Bean Bryant is among one of the most successful basketball players to ever play the game. He is a five-time NBA world champion, two-time NBA Finals MVP, ranks third on the NBA’s all-time scoring list, and the rest of his accolades go on and on. Kobe’s endless list of achievements and accomplishments leaves no…